Kulp Technologies is proud to announce the immediate availability of Kulp Micro Edition 2.0. This release builds on the success of the previous version to provide enhancements to the popular features:
- Ability to produce a wide variety of stinky, smelly fluids and excrement.
- A high pitched wail, expected to occur for about 4-5 hours a day, every day.
- Guaranteed to distrupt any thoughts of sleep for anyone around for the first couple months.
- Inate ability to require the use of all spare resources for the next 18 years. If you’re lucky, it will then require even MORE resources for another 4 years.
In addition, version 2.0 is specifically designed to work closely with existing Kulp Micro Edition 1.0 installations to produce:
- A very high level of general chaos and disorder.
- And even higher level of resource usage.
- Several new incessant noises that will sound very similar to “he did it”, “he’s touching me”, “that’s mine”, “he started it”, etc…
Weighing in at a healthy, 6 pounds, 14 ounces, 19 1/2 inches, Kulp Micro Edition 2.0 (code named Nathan Riley) is only slightly larger than than the 1.0 version.
Julie Kulp, lead developer, exhausted but in good shape, had this to say: “9 months of sleepless nights…. What were we thinking?!?!?!? Never again.” Ryan Kulp, Junior Developer Assistant, said “MY Baby.”
More information is now available at the product website: